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May 28, 2008

I Hate Money by Alexis Thompson

Filed under: Band News — ian @ 11:44 am

I Hate Money - CD/album - $7.00, 15 beautiful, chilling, edgy, fun tracks - country music Tennessee
Alexis Thompson is running a cover contest - which I think is a great idea (I wonder if it was hers?). Anyway, the way that it works is simple. You cover one of Alexis Thompson’s songs and send her a recording of it. The best cover wins. You can pick any of Alexis’s songs and submit as many covers as you like. The deadline for submission is, Friday 1st August 2008. I’ve picked “I Hate Money” and here it is:

/* I Hate Money by Alexis Thompson 2007 */
/* Cover Version by Ian 2008 */

 .

#include “win31.h”
#include “win95.h”
#include “win98.h”
#include “win2000.h”
#include “winXp.h”
#include “grandTheftAuto.h”
#include “winsowsMediaPlayer.h”
#include “bankOfAmerica.h”
#include “chaseManhattanBank.h”
#include “monopoly.h”
#define INSTALL = HARD
#define DEFAULT = Alexis_Thompson

char make_haul_look_big[$1600000];
void main()
{

while(!CRASHED)
{
display_blue_screen_of_death();
excuse(Knocked_Around);
do_cash_loop(h8);

if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_cash_loop(h8);
remove(gun_threateningly);
disable(common_sense);
feel_totally_screwed_up();
hang_system();
}

do_something(anything);
display_blue_screen_of_death();
do_cash_loop(h8);
tell_teller(Do_it);

}

if (detect_cash())
disable_cash(h8);

if (super_fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_outPut(speed, very_fast);
set_outPut(action, rough);
set_outPut(reaction, give_up_shit);
}

/* printf(”Welcome to Microsoft + I HATE MONEY 4″); */
/* printf(”Welcome to Microsoft + I HATE MONEY 95″); */
/* printf(”Welcome to Microsoft + I HATE MONEY 2000″); */
/* printf(”Welcome to Microsoft + I HATE MONEY 2000 Professional”); */
/* printf(”Welcome to Microsoft + I HATE MONEY XP”); */

printf(”Stand and deliver your life or your liver”);

if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt)
else
system_memory = open(”a:\swp0001.swp”, O_CREATE);

for(bank_type)
{
printf(”\n(I)nvestment: “);
printf(”\n(R)etail: “);
printf(”\n(A)ll Other: “);
do
{
printf(” ***** CHOOSE ***** “);
ch=(getch());
}
while(!strchr(”IRA”,ch));

if (ch==’I') use(dynamite);
if (ch==’R')
{
display_blue_screen_of_death();
do_cash_loop(h8);
tell_teller(again);
load(gun);
do_cash_loop(h8);
crash();
}
if (ch==’A') use(anything);
}

if (courage_runs_out)
{
set_inPut(Jack_D, lots);
sound_loud(breaking_glass);
sound_soft(crying);
return_to(DEFAULT); /* Alexis_Thompson */
select_option(love);
do_cash_loop(h8);
}

while(separated)
{
check_mental_states()
{
make_sound(”lament”);
}
sleep(20);
get_operator_input();
sleep(10);
act_on_operator_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();

}

2 Comments »

  1. All seems OK to me Andy?

    Comment by ian — May 28, 2008 @ 7:03 pm

  2. I think I came third, no prize for me ;)

    Comment by ian — March 8, 2010 @ 9:16 pm

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